A few posts ago I write about what a fraidy cat I was. I've struggled with it forever, the feeling that if I could just get over my anxiety about failing, that I'd succeed. But then I was afraid of success because if I was successful, people would expect me to continue to succeed, and then what if I failed? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but then irrational fears never do, we can even make the most unreasonable fear reasonable if we try hard enough.
In the year and a half I've been posting as The Cranky Quilter, I've had the most responses to my posts about feeling inadequate. Whenever I've written about feeling invisible in a shop, feeling left out in a guild, or even being bullied by a Quilt Meanie, it's hit a strong chord with my readers.
I suspect that even the most successful people have fears, but they're the ones who've learned how to work through them. The times in my life when I've been successful in facing my fears, feeling them, and then doing it anyway, have been the most fulfilling. It's frightening to put yourself out there, to take the risk of being ridiculed, or realizing that you aren't as good as you thought you were. How many times have you entered a contest, thinking that you had a good chance of winning, and then finding yourself on the losing end? We've all experienced that, and sometimes it can be heartbreaking, particularly if we had our hopes up.
So, we either stop entering contests, or we convince ourselves we haven't a chance in the world and sabotage ourselves going in. If you don't do your best work, then you can always say you didn't win because it wasn't your best, but then how will you know how your best stacks up? And frankly, why does it matter if it stacks up at all?
My "Fraidy Cat" post got a few comments and emails, one of which inspired me to start a new blog, http://www.fraidycatquilters.com/. I'll post inspiring quotes and helpful comments and try to get a thread going. The rule is we can be honest about our feelings, but we can't say anything negative about other's feelings. This is a support, healing, and motiviting blog; a place we'll feel safe sharing and cheering each other on.
I'm not sure how this will work so we'll just have to feel our way. Feel free to email me at email@example.com with your ideas, or post them on the blog. I can't wait to get motivated to do my best and not be afraid of what that will mean. I hope you'll feel the same.
You can reach the blog by clicking on the link above or on the picture on the right. I look forward to seeing you there!