There's an old saying, "Patience is a virtue."
I wish I had more of it! I don't know what it is but lately I'm having a very hard time getting excited about anything, or focusing on anything.
It occurred to me today as I was doing some piecing that my problem is that I lack patience. I used to think I was a patient person, but I probably never was. In the past it was easier to take my time and spend a lot of time working on projects I'd never finish. Now, however, it really bugs me when things take longer than I think they should, or I have to wait, or things just plain aren't going my way.
Now that I'm over fifty, time doesn't seem to be as endless as it used to be. Frittering away an afternoon isn't something I do lightly, and yet I seem to do a lot of it unintentionally. I get hung up talking to a friend on the phone, or going round and round on a graphic design project with a client. Then just when I feel I can actually get something done, it's time to pick up my son from school and the day's gone.
I remember when I used to work full time in an office. For some reason I seemed to have more time then, or perhaps I managed it better because I had to. Now, I have more time, and yet get less done. It's a dilemma I need to solve, because I know I need to create and my lack of patience is related to that frustration.
So, today I decided to take the rest of the afternoon and tomorrow off. I have some projects around the house that need to be done, and perhaps I need a break from the creative part of my life. Forcing it doesn't work, and perhaps if I step away for a day or too my mojo can break through and I'll be back on track.
It's hard getting older but there are some advantages. I was talking to my mother earlier and I realized that one of them is that you've been around long enough to have experienced the ups and downs of life. Things don't always run smoothly and often don't work out the way you planned. As I've gotten older I'm less disappointed by these obstacles, I try to view them as learning experiences and as time that I have to "live through" to get to the more exciting times to come.
So, I'm going to try a little down time and see if that can't recharge my engines. I actually feel like I'm on the crest of something, but maybe I need to step away to get on top of the wave instead of get smashed under it.
So, I'm going to enjoy the evening with my family, run my errands tomorrow and maybe, just maybe, be on track for some real creativity on Thursday. One can only hope!