Friday, March 26, 2010

I Want a New Drug

Oh I wish there was something I could take that would turn on and turn off the quilting urge.  Lately I've been in a kind of funky mood, not really wanting to quilt, but yet, not wanting to not want to.  (And if you can follow that have I got a padded room for you!).

It has to do with a lot of different things.  First of all I just finished my big studio overhaul and don't really want to mess it up.  Of course this makes no sense as I can generally mess up a room by just walking into it, (I'm kind of like Pigpen with a thread trail...), however, I am enjoying the praise and happiness of my husband and son who can now actually walk into the space without fear.  It's a conundrum, fix up a space so you can work in it, but then don't work in the space....why does life have to be so complicated?

Of course, I've also had my 12 year old off school for two weeks which means that I'm on entertainment duty.  Trying to keep him from getting too bored without school and baseball.  Of course it doesn't help that his friends are all in Hawaii or Disneyland and he's stuck in suburban hell, (Oh, and he's twelve....).  So, of course all of the things he used to like to do he doesn't like anymore, and everything he does like to do involves other 12 year olds, balls, and no walls nearby, (unless a ball can be thrown against it).  We've managed to keep things from getting too out of control with a few short trips and an afternoon at the movies, ("Diary of a Wimpy Kid" a new classic!).  But I think we'll both be happy when baseball practice starts tonight, a game tomorrow and then school on Monday.  

The one great thing about this week is that yesterday we took a trip over to Emeryville to go to Ikea.  It's across the bay from San Francisco and is where I used to work and near where we used to live.  I've been back a lot but he's only been back a few times since we moved away 5 years ago.  We had a great day together, plotting how we're going to turn his "kid" room into a "teen" room and visiting our old haunts.  In many ways it was the best day we'd had together for a while, it was almost like I got my kid back, but with a twist.  He was very handy to have around to lift those heavy boxes, (he's 12 but he's 5'5" and strong as an ox).  So, I had the combo of my sweet little guy and my big bruiser.  It was a relief from all of the hormonal stress we've both been living through the last few months, you can imagine what it's like living with a 12 year old and a menopausal mother!  It's a good thing my husband's in a mid-life crisis or he'd feel left out. (Just kidding!)

I'm also struggling with the problem that I"ve had all of my life.  I get bored too easily!  There's a reason I make the kinds of quilts I do because if I didn't go crazy beading and appliquing and embroidering I'd really go crazy.  I just love doing a lot of different things.  I guess as long as I'm doing creative things and bringing them back to my quilting that I'm still moving forward, but it's hard to get anything done when you're constantly either distracted by outside forces or distracting yourself.

As a graphic designer I work with a lot of clients with totally different likes and dislikes.  One of the talents I have is that I'm good at reading them, at giving them what they want, not necessarily what I'd do for myself.  It's a gift when you're in a client-driven design business but it can really mess with your head when you try to create art on the side.  It's inevitable that the two paths cross and I have to often pull back and think, "Is this me??? Or am I channelling someone else???).  It can be very confusing.

I hope this post hasn't been too self indulgent but I suspect that a lot of you out there are dealing with the same issues.  I called this blog "The Cranky Quilter" for this very reason, that although I am a quilter, I'm also someone dealing with all the other aspects of life and somehow trying to make it all work out....hence I'm cranky....a lot!!! 

I'd love to hear how all of you handle these kinds of things and still get that quilting done. 

In the meantime...

Happy Stitching!


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