Friday, February 19, 2010

Hanging in There!

Yesterday morning when I went in to wake up my son this bear was hanging onto the edge of his bed.  We couldn't figure out if he was trying to escape or trying to get back in after a wild night with the other stuffed animals scattered around the room. 

I don't know about your children but my son sleeps in a heap of blankets, stuffed toys, books, and a few plastic army men.  How he can sleep like that is beyond me.  It sometimes takes some searching under the covers to figure out where his head is! 

Anyway, I digress!  My last post was about how I'm overwhelmed with unfinished projects right now and this "hanging on for dear life" bear made me think about my quilting life.  Sometimes I feel like I'm just hanging on, wanting to bail because it would be so much easier to escape and hang out with all the "normal" (non quilting obsessed) people.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love quilters!  We are a fabulous breed that knows how to work hard and play hard.  But sometimes I wish I didn't have a stack of unfinished projects, a room full of fabric I feel guilty about not using up quick enough, not to mention all of those doubts that keep popping up in my head.  Am I doing the work I should be doing, is this working, do I need to change this or add that or throw that particular piece out the window?  It's all so frustrating . . . and wonderful.

Whenever I start feeling this way it reminds me of how I feel with my family sometimes.  You know, those days when you've been carting kids here and there, rushing to the grocery store, making dinner and then realizing at 8:00 that you were supposed to bake 4 dozen cupcakes for a school party that just happens to be the next morning.  And then there's the laundry and the dirty bathrooms and the runny noses and the stomach flu and skinned knees and, well, you know how it goes . . .

Sometimes you just feel like running away, and yet, you know that if you didn't have your family you'd be lost and that everything you do for them is the price you pay for having them in your life. 

It's that way for me with quilting.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all I have to do and want to do.  All the ideas buzzing around in my head, pestering me like flies, needing to get out.  And then knowing that with my family and business responsibilities, the odds of that happening are slim.  It can be depressing and it's one of the reasons this blog is called "The Cranky Quilter."

It does make me cranky when I can't find the time to do what I need to do for myself, for my art, for my sanity.  And yet, the overwhelmed feelings, the idea buzzing, the guilt, the doubts, all of these things are the price I have to pay to quilt the way I want to, to express myself.  Everytime I go through this thought process I always come out with the same answer, "It's all worth it."

Nothing worth doing is ever easy, and so we all hobble along, taking care of our families, making our quilts, wrestling with our demons, enjoying our lives.

All in all I think I'll hang out with you guys, the "normal" people would never understand, and besides . . .

It's all worth it.

Happy Stitching,

Susan

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